(00:51:52) Squegie: it’s depressing cold, and i like to wallow in self-pity
(00:52:58) Squegie: as i sit here alone, bathed in the soft glow of a computer screen, slowly eating my leftover macaroni and cheese dinner and reflecting on past failures…
(00:53:40) Squegie: i realize that i need a soda.
(00:55:45) Squegie: so, i walk back, back to my fridge and pause. my fridge was technically a loan from my previous employer, and comes up to my waist. the fridge is small, but free. it fits in as yet another piece in a chronic pattern on settling for less because i can’t get better. atop my fridge is a used microwave, purchased off of a friend who would have just thrown it out. it also is small.
(00:59:13) Squegie: the carpet that i stand upon is pink, but not by choice. my sister burned a hole in it and had it replaced by the insurance company. i have the carpet, complete with the burned in hole. i cover the hole with a throw rug from dollar general. covered i call it, like the flaws in my so called life. hidden behind a mask of perception, i shrink from daylight.